Fuck You, Celebrities

Celebrities piss me off. There are some that are genuinely good people. But the majority of them are complete douchebags. There is no reason these fucktards should be receiving so much money for their shitty acting jobs, horrible singing or ugly "fashions." How can anyone justify paying them millions of dollars to act? "Oh, it's hard on them, doing it day after day, pouring their heart into it, emotions, stress..." Yeah? Kind of sounds like a job, huh? I don't remember being paid millions when I was serving in the Army, dealing with stress, separation from family and physical labor all of which were probably more than these cocksuckers ever had to deal with since they "made it big."

I do a 9-5:30 job Monday through Friday. I resolve problems with computers so I can stay in my apartment, drive my car, and eat food. Sometimes money is tight, sometimes I don't have enough to pay some bills. These douchebags complain that they aren't getting paid enough (you know, more than $15 million) for a movie. I won't even make that in my entire goddamn lifetime unless somehow I invent the next big thing. It must be so hard living that life..

The thing that really, really pisses me right the fuck off is how these assholes get away with constantly breaking the law. Take for instance the waste of space Lindsey Lohan. She had three minor car crashes in two years. Sure, it's just a car crash, but she can afford the spike in insurance. Imagine YOU had three crashes. Insurance would probably equal all your goddamn bills combined and you'd be lucky to still have a license.

Car crashes are nothing, though. She gets nabbed for DUI and a "usable" amount of coke. What does she get for this? Rehab for 45 days. REHAB. I know for a fact if I were caught driving my car drunk with some coke next to me I'd be in prison faster than Oprah can eat an entire cake. Less than a month later, another DUI. Same thing, go to rehab. Failed a sobriety test two weeks after leaving rehab FOR HER DUI and was again busted with a small amount of coke. This time the judge wasn't a complete fucking idiot and charged her with felony possession of coke, misdemeanor DUI and driving with a suspended license. Back to rehab with this bitch.

She pled guilty to using coke and the DUI and was sentenced to ONE DAY in prison.That's right, one day. One fucking day. Not a year, not a month, a fucking day. Along with that 3 years of probation. She served only 48 minutes of her day sentence due to overcrowding according to a representative of the dimwit sheriff. She got another year tacked on because she (shockingly) didn't attend her court-ordered substance abuse classes. More shit happened, her probation was revoked and she was sentenced to a whopping 90 days in jail. Yes, 90 days for multiple DUIs and coke.

She was released after 14 days due to 'overcrowding' again. She was supposed to spend three months in rehab but instead spent 23 days since the fuckwit 'doctors' didn't think she could accomplish anything more at their facility. What the fuck kind of a statement is that? Well, she's gone as far as she can here.. we can't help her get over her alcohol and coke addiction any more than we have. Real great facility, fucking prime care there. It's like seeing someone dangling from a roof, rushing to their aid, reaching and almost grabbing their hand.. then leaving. "I tried. Couldn't help her."

In another shocking turn of events, the stupid bitch failed a drug test. Another dimwit judge (this time not as stupid as the rest) ordered revocation of her bail and stated she should be sent to jail w/o bond. Of course her lawyer appealed this the same day and was able to get her out on $300k bail. I'm sure your lawyer would do the same for you if you failed your drug test after all the trouble you've gotten in to. The best part is the lawyer appealed on the grounds that she had only committed misdemeanor DUIs. Forgot about the felony coke did we? ONLY DUIs. Yeah.. she was ONLY driving drunk multiple times, judge.

I'd like to see this shit fly in court for me. "Well, sir, I was only driving drunk a few times. I shouldn't be sent to jail. Wait, what? Coke? No, no coke use.. What? Failed drug test? Guilty plea in August 2007 to coke use? No.. no.. that wasn't me. It was my doppelganger, The Mike." My ass would be in the pen in five seconds flat with some big buy named Bubba eying me.

This shit is utter nonsense. I realize that our justice system isn't perfect but it should never have gotten to the point where you can buy yourself out of everything. I thought it was supposed to be "fair" and "blind"? How fucking blind can it be if you get shipped off to prison for 10 years while some prick who can't act but has made movies gets a slap on the wrist? I'm sick and tired of celebrities and rich fucks getting away with everything and anything while the rest of us normal folk get our asses handed to us every time we do something wrong. Oh, they have a horrible, stressful life living with all that money and fame and people watching their every move that sometimes they just can't handle it and turn to drugs and alcohol.

Sure, sure.. they cave in to the stress. What if I did that when I was still in the Army when I had a stressful job? Dishonorable discharge, possible confinement, my life would be fucked. These assholes get not even a slap on the wrist, more like a tap, a little tickle. Fuck them.